*Insertmemehere* Cause we all know that's common. lol
It's been a while since I drew some vent art, but I guess that doesn't stop this head of mine.
So ya. I have been feeling very alone, but not in the way of family and friends. In a relationship way, but I guess it doesn't help that every year and almost everyday of my life since the 6th grade people who were in relationships seem to rub it IN MY FACE. >|T
In 6th grade, I saw people starting to get together and it seemed that everyone had someone EXCEPT me. Even though I was a loner, I still appreciated someone talking to me. It didn't bother me that my friends had a boy/girlfriend back then because I was young and I knew I still a couple of years before I took a full interest in a relationship.
In High School however, it was absolute HELL. *What else* I saw practically EVERYONE have a companion and kissing each other whenever they could. Even a couple who for some reason I got behind EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. in the lunch line (Don't ask me how) made out and NO ONE did anything. Not even me because I was shy, embarrassed, and didn't want to be looked at as the one that was "Oh look, someone who can't stand kissing. What a dweeb". Trust me. I put up with a LOT of those stares. It was the worse in my history class in Freshmen year, where I sat next to an old Class mate of mine from Elementary school. He'd ask me what time it was, and the first time I looked at the clock to check for him, and then I felt fingers on my side and he said, "Tickle time!" I turned back, utterly embarrassed, and he along with his friends laughed. He continued to do this everyday until he transferred schools. He did the same things in Elementary school, except he was sweet talking me to be funny. It also didn't help that it triggered flash backs to a bad experience to when I was a kid. =^=;;;;;; The ONLY good thing to come out of high school, besides my friends and my teachers, was a sweet guy named Ryan, who I was in an online relationship for two years. We broke up since he didn't want anything bad to happen between us, and I fully respect him for that.
And college is...Well...Sorta like the last two combined. I don't care yet I do. I want companionship yet I don't. I am scared of being betrayed and just being used as a trivial toy. I either see boys as just friends or an enemy because of that fricken experience.
Welp, that felt good. Time to draw some more. *Goes to do so*
*Hugged tight* <|.3
Thanks so much I have a feeling I will, I'm just sorta nervous when <|D;;;
Well they no do that. >|C
I'm the same way with relationships. Only, it was easy for me not to be in a relationship before university because every guy I met was an a-hole, taken, or saw other men. In university now, all the nice guys I would like to date respect me too much and see me as a peer to work with and to have fun with while all the a-hole I would never date keep on hitting on me.
I want to be in a relationship, but don't want to be in one at the same time.